Natural Horseman

  • December 06, 2011

I got the first edition of this book in 1990. I was newly married and found out that I was a Sensitive and my partner was a Vigilant. I was a good match for her, she was a so-so match for me. Well, at the time, I saw our cup as mostly full. And so it was for a few years. But in the later half of my 20 year marriage, I saw clear signs that my partner was becoming paranoid. I had to plant screens of bushes and vines so that the neighbors couldn’t see into our yard. Then we had to move out to 5 acres in the country for more privacy. In addition, she began to suspect my extended family of “talking behind her back and saying bad things”. As far as I could tell, this was totally unfounded. For years she tried to systematically alienate me from my loving family. Sometimes forcing me to choose, them or her. Finally, she lost all trust in me, a most devoted, sensitive husband. When things really began to fall apart, she really cranked up the criticism and negativity… and we went for marriage counseling. After two years, she was unable to forgive or forget or resolve anything. After our separation and divorce, I happened to re-read Personality Self-Portrait. I even found our score sheets from 20 years earlier. Boy, did it ever hit home; reading the descriptions of myself and my ex (now in the Paranoid extreme). UNBELIEVABLE. Freaking UNBELIEVABLE. The words on the pages were so accurate. Summarized my 20 year marriage to a “T”. I do have 3 great kids since we were both so family oriented. At least I am thankful for that!

Two takeaways:

1) If you are single and dating, READ THIS NOW. Learn what personality type is a good match for you, and find the right person!!!

2) Professional marriage counselors should give the personality test in this book to all their clients. All parties would greatly benefit by the basic insights of this book. And if one of the parties is an extreme personality… cut your losses now.