Overt and Covert Narcissism

By John M Oldham MD

There is a lot in the news these days about prominent people with narcissistic personality traits. If someone is self-centered and self-important, needs to be noticed and in the spotlight, and is insensitive to others or even uninterested in them except for their flattery, such a person is likely to be called a narcissist. Generally when the term is used, it isn’t a compliment; more often it refers to someone who can be irritating to be with because of being cocky, conceited, “All About Myself.” But does such a person have a personality disorder that might benefit from treatment, or is the person just sometimes an arrogant jerk? Well, as with many things, it’s a matter of degree. Not too heavy a dose of a narcissistic trait may not be all bad and can even be an engine of productive success. But it’s better if the driven “my way or the highway” behavior can be toned down or turned off from time to time. In such cases, we often refer to “healthy narcissism,” reflecting talent and skill, ingredients of success. On the other hand, if the behavioral style creeps into grandiosity, lack of empathy for others, and a relentless need for admiration, narcissistic personality disorder might need to be considered.

But there’s a less well-known form of narcissism referred to as covert, or vulnerable narcissism. These are people who feel entitled and secretly believe they are special and full of unrecognized talent. Yet they are insecure and hypersensitive to criticism, so they keep their convictions that they have the potential to do great things out of sight. But then they are embittered and resentful that others do not “see through” their quiet reserve and recognize their true brilliance.

One challenge in dealing with, especially, overt narcissists is that they usually don’t acknowledge that there’s anything wrong with their behavior. Rather, it’s your problem: you just can’t keep up, you’re not smart enough to understand my genius, shape up or ship out! Suggesting that they might, in fact, be their own worst enemy and might benefit from professional help is usually met with a derisive retort: no, you’re the one with the problem! Sometimes, however a family or occupational crisis, such as a threat of divorce or a risk of losing a job, can erupt. Then they may recognize that they may be pulling their own house down, and treatment or counseling can become a possible option.

In the language of NPSP25, which personality types might include either overt or covert narcissistic traits? As shown on the Personality Style-Personality Disorder Continuum, the Self-Confident Style could, if extreme, resemble elements of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. If so, this would be the overt version, characterized by grandiosity, lack of empathy, arrogance, and even exploitation of others. Covert narcissism could show up as a component of the Sensitive Style, the extreme of which could resemble Avoidant Personality Disorder. Although generally insecure and introverted, some people with this pattern of behavior could include those with covert narcissistic convictions that they are exceptionally talented, yet they are too insecure to reveal those beliefs.