Friendship
- January 28, 2026
- General
By John M Oldham MD
Recently, a feature appeared in The New York Times entitled “The Friendship Advice Experts Swear By” (https://www.nytimes.com/2026/01/27/well/friendship-make-keep-friends.html). In spite of the corny title, author/journalist Catherine Pearson provides some useful tips called “friendship boosters” to help us strengthen our friendship bonds. Such advice is welcome, since we are challenged by the fast pace of change in our society. Pearson points out that whereas in 1990, about 3% of Americans reported having no close friends, that number increased to 12% in 2021. About 1 in 6 Americans, she reports, “say they feel lonely or isolated from those around them all or most of the time.” A big factor contributing to this trend was, of course, the pandemic, but other social changes play a role. One observation, for example, is that more young people stay in the parental home longer and marry later or not at all. And in our techno-savvy world, of course, face-to-face quality time is being replaced by screen time. Although regular virtual chats or Face Time with friends can be healthy and sustaining, they can’t include the handshake or the hug. More importantly, looming down the road is the increasingly sophisticated AI Companion, sought out by the lonely. It can be comforting to some, yes, but it can’t replace the value of human relationships. Looking into a friend’s eyes, sharing a joke, sharing a sorrow, reaching out to each other with trust and confidence.
In the world of personality studies, one of the hallmarks of a healthy personality is the capacity for empathy and intimacy in mutually rewarding and lasting relationships. For some personality styles this “friendship comfort zone” comes naturally; for others, it may take some work. But we all need friends we can count on through good times and bad—friends who will answer the door, when we knock, with a smile.
