Ambition
- January 30, 2025
- General
By John M Oldham
How does ambition show up in an individual’s personality, and is it important? Well, it depends. There is a lot of reference these days to the “right” work/life balance. Does too much work make you a workaholic and does too little make you lazy? Again, it depends! Consider ambition in the context of what constitutes a healthy personality. One model of the essential ingredients of a well-balanced personality has been developed by the American Psychiatric Association. A person with such a personality has a good sense of identity and has well-defined life goals plus the capacity to work toward those goals. In addition, there is genuine interest in understanding other people and how they see the world, and the individual has mutually rewarding, lasting friendships. Put simply, I know who I am, I know where I’m going, I’m interested in how others see things, and I value my friends and family. In such a person, there’s usually a good comfort level of personal ambition. If I’m highly ambitious, and I have the talent, I may accomplish some pretty amazing things. But I still can take a break, “turn it off,” and enjoy time with others. If I’m not very ambitious, that’s OK since that’s what I want. I make as much money as I need, and, for me at least, I need some down time. That’s when I play the guitar or go fishing.
In a recent article in the New York Times (https://www.nytimes.com/2025/01/30/well/mind/ask-the-therapist-gottlieb-hard-work.html), a woman asks psychotherapist Lori Gottlieb if she should be worried, since her boyfriend “lacks ambition.” Gottlieb gives good advice, after determining that the woman asking the question turns out to be from a demanding, hard-working family where worth equals work! Gottlieb recognizes that the boyfriend is perfectly successful yet he chooses to turn it off when he’s put in his 40 hour workweek.
In the language of npsp25, the boyfriend would likely score higher on the Leisurely personality style, and the question-asker would score higher on the Conscientious style. Recognizing their differences and respecting them could settle things down. Or if not, they could decide they’re too different and they might then decide to part as friends. Knowing who you are and what’s important to you is the key.